There was once a young man from Blacksheath
Who sat on his set of false teeth
He jumped yup with a start
And said ‘Bless my Heart,
I’ve bitten myself underneath
I sat next to the Duchess at tea
It was exactly as I had feared it would be
Her rumblings abdominal (fart)
Were truly phenomenal
And everyone thought it was me!
There was once a young lady from Eeling
Blessed with such delicate feeling
When she read on the door
Don’t spit on the floor
She jumped up and spat on the ceiling.
I’d rather have fingers than toes
I’d rather have ears than a nose
But as for my hair
I’m glad it’s still there
I’ll be awfully sad when it goes.